Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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