I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize