I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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