I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
