is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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