I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
