More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
