If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize