You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
