I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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