I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
