This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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