I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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