is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Operation Purity has been aborted
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
