Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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