Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
