I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
