I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
