The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
They have beer where we have blood.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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