Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Can I color on your dick again?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
