Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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