I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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