He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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