If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
