I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
