you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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