i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it was like having sex with a tree stump
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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