i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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