dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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