He had one of those small greek statue penises
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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