Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
