My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
