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• (216): View more from Ohio

  bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away

  (440): View more from Ohio

  isn't bella the cat???

  (216): View more from Ohio

  that she is

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out

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• (818): View more from California

  And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Public safety found my id!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward

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• (495): View more from

  you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.

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