I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
