before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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