He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
