thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
