Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
