I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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