Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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