So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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