Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
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I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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