thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
