Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I look better un-naked...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
