Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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