Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
