I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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