The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
