you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
is it fun? or sober?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i out mim tonsoeep
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
