she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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