Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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