i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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