Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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