are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
