I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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