I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
