the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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