peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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