I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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