Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
