i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
