perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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