I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
