hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
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If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.