It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
