is your mom at the bar?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
