I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
