And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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