I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
