I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize