I heard we made out
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
