I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
