i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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